Bachelor Sean Ep. 7: Don’t let them take your sparkle.

I guess I was playing pretty hard to get with last week’s recap. Since there is a new episode tonight, looks like I am getting it in right under the wire. Consider it a refresher of where we stand going into this week’s hometown dates.

The episode begins with Sean telling us that he is feeling more optimistic than ever about finding his wife. Great for him. Although, given the fact that a Bachelor has never married the woman he chose, that optimism might be a little misplaced. Everyone arrives in St. Croix and checks out their new digs for the week. Tierra decides that she hates the girls so much that she would rather sleep on a cot than with one of the other girls. Way to not draw negative attention to yourself, girl.

AshLee gets the first one-on-one, and I’m pretty sure Tierra is brainstorming ways to make AshLee’s death look accidental. 

AshLee meets Sean on the beach and drones on about her abandonment issues. Sean loves needy, damaged girls, so he eats it right up. Then he eats her face. They roll around on the beach for awhile, and I don’t even want to think about how much sand they had to clean out of their bathing suits after that.

Back at the house, Tierra finds out she is going on the next one-on-one, and she and Sean will be exploring the streets of St. Croix. She immediately starts freaking out and worrying that she is going to be attacked by bugs and that her makeup is going to drip off. She says she would have much preferred to go boating. Well then maybe you should have said you were scared of boats in your contestant questionnaire.

AshLee and Sean head to dinner, and AshLee reveals that she got married in high school when she was 17 because she was fighting with her mom. Sean’s all, uhhh that’s cool, and I’m thinking she’s lucky she has a nice rack because that probably helped the news go over a little better than it would have otherwise. Then, in one of the most cringeworthy moments in the episode, she stands on a chair and yells “HELLO ST. CROIX!” and “I LOVE SEAN!” I buried my head in my hands during the last one. It’s like if I’m not looking, the awkwardness isn’t happening.

Sean picks Tierra up the next day for her date, and they hit the mean streets of St. Croix. Sean buys Tierra some junky jewelry, and Tierra says that Sean bought her some of the most incredible things someone could buy on their first date. Uhh I mean, I guess your shell necklace was cool, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that people have gotten way more incredible things. Like any other kind of necklace. Or anything else really. They wander around town for awhile, and Tierra tries to pretend she is the kind of girl who can have fun at an impromptu street carnival.

She’s not.

Later, at dinner, she feels a weird vibe from Sean, so she decides the best thing to do is drop the L bomb.

Because nothing makes a guy who has doubts about you like you more than you saying the L-word excessively early in the relationship.

Sean arrives the next morning to pick up Catherine, Des and Lindsay for the group date and thinks it’s a cool idea to take pictures of them when they first wake up. They watch the sun rise on the eastern side of the island, and then Sean flips out and is like, OMG we need to get to the other side of the island to see the sunset STAT!

I looked on Wikipedia, and it says St. Croix is only 28 miles across, so I’m pretty sure there was no need to hustle back to the Jeep to catch the sunset. They somehow make the 28 mile drive last for an eternity, and they arrive on the western side of the island right before sunset. And Lindsay is looking rough.

Sure, she’d been up and in the sun since 5 am, but she annoys me, so I’m not going to cut her any slack. She talks to Sean, and he’s like, gurl it’s so crazy that you’ve come so far since the first night when you showed up in a wedding dress. And she’s like, omg I know; let’s suck face. Then he talks to Catherine, and she reveals that her dad tried to commit suicide when she was younger, so he’s not going to be able to make the hometown date. I don’t see why it was necessary to tell Sean that story right then, but she’d already told the tree crushing story on her last date, so I guess she decided pull out the big guns on the group date. Then Sean talks to Des, and she is so excited for him to meet her family that she cries about it. I was fairly confident Catherine was going to get the rose since she told the saddest story, but in a surprise twist, Sean gives the rose to Lindsay.

Lesley gets the final date of the week, and she’s super excited to see Sean. She tells us that she’s known him for awhile now, and it’s just funny how he can still make her nervous. (I guess awhile = a few weeks in Lesley’s world?) They walk around ruins or something boring like that, and Sean finally notices that Lesley is horrible at eye contact.

Lesley has an internal struggle all day over whether to tell him she loves him but ultimately decides not to. Probably for the best. I don’t really have anything else to say about their boring date.

Sean’s sister shows up on St. Croix because it’s her birthday, and she wanted to see Sean.

He’s pumped to see her, so they sit down for a little heart to heart. Sean tells his sister that he could see the possibility of marriage with all of the remaining girls, but not one stands out. Well at least he isn’t considering proposing to someone in a few weeks. Then he tells her about the Tierra drama, and she’s all, what’s the one thing I told you before you left? And he’s all, don’t pick the girl no one likes? And she’s all, uh yeah. So Sean’s all, well let me go get her so you can meet her.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, AshLee and Tierra are fighting it out because Tierra found out AshLee talked smack about Tierra on her date and she’s all, oh no you didn’t. Tierra tells AshLee that girls are jealous because guys always love her, and she doesn’t need to sabotage someone else’s relationship to build hers up.

Then she admits she has no control over her eyebrows or facial expressions, so she can’t be held responsible for the horrible looks she gives people. Best Tierra line from the fight? “My parents told me before I left, ‘Tierra, you have a sparkle, don’t let them take away that sparkle.'” Yeah girl, don’t let them take your sparkle. By the way, your forehead dent is out of control.

Sean arrives right after the fight breaks up, and Tierra is a total mess.

Sean is like, get it together girl, I want you to meet someone, but Tierra CANNOT pull herself together. Sean realizes what an ugly crier Tierra is, so he decides to send her home. Or something along those lines. GOOD RIDDANCE.

At the rose ceremony, Lesley is sent home, which is no big surprise to the viewers. It must have come as a total shock to Catherine though because she has a total meltdown. She feels like Sean had more in common with Lesley and her beliefs are shattered or something random like that. I didn’t totally follow that whole breakdown, but suffice it to say, she was sad Lesley left.

Hometown dates tonight, and you know what that means — Sean gets to ask a bunch of fathers for permission to marry their daughters after meeting them once for a couple of hours. Sh*t is getting real.

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