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For your mid-afternoon slump: Michael Stagliano is lucky in love.

Remember this sad face from Bachelor Pad?

sadface

Well you can bet it’s back because Michael Stagliano is officially engaged. I would say he’s officially off the market, but we all saw what happened to his first engagement, so hang in there, Rachel. All is not lost.

I found out about the engagement last week during my routine Instagram stalking when I came across this post from Michael.

photo 1

Way to hash tag the name of your tour on your engagement announcement. Nothing screams romance like self-promotion.

So these two started dating right before he left to go on Bachelor Pad. Which means that early in their relationship, Michael was jamming his tongue down someone else’s throat.

tongue

Oh, and not just Rachel.

literallydonna

But I guess this one doesn’t count because he was just making Donna’s dreams come true.

Look, I’m not saying he’s rushing into things with his new fiancee, but I’m pretty sure that if I saw my fiance making out with someone else on national television less than a year before he proposed, it might give me a little pause. Although, in fairness to his fiancee, I would be having reservations about marrying him in general, so maybe I’m not the best measuring stick. And they ARE super in love according to her Instagram caption of this picture:

ring on it

Emily wrote, “If one picture could define our relationship, this might be it! Goofy, madly in love, and having fun every second! I love you, @michaelstag!” Are they literally having fun every second? Because, if so, that seems like a lot of fun. Michael also posted a close-up of the ring for us.

photo 3

I guess unfunny people will never let go of “put a ring on it.” Thanks, unfunny people of the world, for ruining that song for me. I can’t tell if the ring is legit huge, or if it’s an optical illusion. Can being a fake rockstar really make you that much money? Maybe he’s bringing in the big bucks with merchandise sales thanks to people like my sister, who bought me these for Christmas:

stagswag

Guess she didn’t feel like splurging for the t-shirt so I could get a personal thank-you/love note from Michael. 

Well, good luck to you Michael. I hope this one works out better for you because everyone deserves true love. Even people who take douchey pictures like this.

ugh

And if it doesn’t, I’m sure Rachel will welcome you back with open arms.

sadz



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